Vantage Point
...just another perspective.

Technology and the Disintegration of the Family

As I have been sitting here at home, recovering from my illness, I have spent a lot of time talking to my mother and sister and reminiscing about my childhood and life in general. There has been a resounding shift in the way we prefer to interact with our friends and family. Much of it is from a distance, without direct contact. In my Internet dating days, I have had almost an entire relationship based on emails, chat, and text, only to find that when we actually met, we didn't completely gel (as our minds had filled the gaps regarding the unknown elements) = a.k.a. disenchantment. Now with family and friends you've met in person and decide to keep in contact with, via blogging, twitter, IM, etc... the technology option can be a way to casually keep in touch...but it also be a double edged sword. This article really made me think and appreciate what I have.

Technology and the Disintegration of the Family

Remember when we were kids? We used to play outside all day, riding bikes, building forts, playing games we would made up as we went along. We moved… a lot, and we used our imaginations…a lot. When we got home, we would sit down with our families and have dinner together at the dining room table, and talk about what we did during the day, who pushed us down and who made us laugh. Today’s families are different. Today’s families are very busy!

Juggling work, home and community life has created a reliance on technology that has permeated our culture. While adults rely on technology for efficiency in their work and home lives, children rely on technology for play, limiting challenges to their creative mental systems, as well as their physical bodies. This loss of mental creativity, as well as physical exercise, has resulted in a host of children who are neurologically and developmentally delayed, with a variety of mental disorders and attachment difficulties. Diagnoses of Developmental Delay, Learning Disability, Autism,
Aspergers, Sensory Processing Disorder, Developmental Coordination Disorder, Anxiety Disorder and Depression amongst children abounds.

As children are connecting more and more to technology, society is seeing a disconnect from themselves, others and nature. A 2004 Kaiser Foundation study showed that elementary aged children use on average 6.5 hours per day of TV and videogames, and over half of North American bedrooms contain TV’s. As little children develop and form their identities, they often are incapable of discerning whether they are the “killing machine” seen on TV and in videogames, or just a shy and lonely little kid in need of a friend. TV and videogame addiction is causing an irreversible worldwide epidemic of mental and physical health disorders, yet we all find excuses to continue. Where 100 years ago we needed to move to survive, we are now under the assumption we need technology to survive. The catch is that technology is killing what we love the most…connection with other human beings. As the dining room table is slowly being replaced by a big screen TV, we are moving into a new age, an age where we will eventually see the disintegration of the family unit.

With the advent of technology we also have time pressures and stress. Cell phones ring constantly, email “bleeps”, Facebook, MySpace and internet dating all require upkeep and maintenance. Studies have shown parents currently spend on average 3.5 minutes per week in meaningful conversation with children. Parents are working more hours now than ever before, often leaving children on their own after school and in the evenings to entertain themselves. Research has shown that if a parent perceives their child’s world is unsafe, their children watch more TV and videogames, yet isn’t this merely a Virtual Safety? While the allure and excitement of technology continues to advance, our children are being enticed into an addiction that we know very little about, and therefore cannot possibly see the future ramifications. What we do know is that TV and videogame use has causal links to increases in ADHD, learning disabilities, sexual promiscuity, addictions, aggression, obesity, and sleep disorders to name a few. Yet parents who have children that are experiencing these issues, are often the parents seen purchasing the next latest and greatest piece of technology for their children, completely unaware of the detrimental impact.

How can we live in a world where we know what’s bad for our children, yet do nothing to help them? It appears that everyone these days, whether it’s adult, child or even a toddler, is pulled into the “Virtual Reality Dream”, where everyone believes that life is something that requires an escape. The Baby Boomers appear to have raised the “Me Generation” of children who are completely incapable of responsible behaviour, or the ability to help themselves. The immediate gratification received from ongoing use of TV and videogame technology, has replaced the desire for human connection. A sad state of affairs indeed. We would rather watch the latest episode of a sitcom, as opposed to asking our child what sort of difficulties they might be experiencing in school, or problems they might be having with their friends.

It’s important to come together as parents, teachers and therapists to help society “wake up” and see the devastating effects technology is having not only on our child’s mental and physical health, but also on their ability to learn and sustain personal and family relationships. While technology is a train that will continually move forward, knowledge regarding its detrimental effects, and action taken toward balancing the use of technology with exercise and family time, will work toward saving our children, as well as
saving our world.


I remember growing up in Texas, we were only allowed to watch 2 hrs of TV a day (3-5pm). We had to go play outside or with our toys. Our parents encouraged us to take things apart and put them back together (as long as it wasn't expensive or too intricate). And I know for a fact that is why we (my bro, sis, and I) have an interest and ability to fix or figure things out. My parents really cultivated our curiosities. My father made me draw pictures everyday during summer vacation. I have nothing but fond memories of all the activities we were involved in and the fun we had squeezing out our creative juices. As time went on, and life changed, for whatever reason, I stopped doing arts and crafts, and just didn't utilize my creative spirit on my own. I had to be inspired by an external force. I think in that time, I also became a little more reclusive. I have always likes people (when I can interact with them face to face especially), but working nightshift for 5 years, I only really socialzed with the people from the hospital at which I worked. I didn't come home much or call much. I had a small group of friends that I would hang out with (and a boyfriend that I tried to spend the majority of my time with). But even that changed as it became easier to seem attached while remaining detached. It really hit me when phone texting became big. Then I really had minimal personal interaction.... it felt strange, yet comfortable.

I'll be the first to admit, it is very hard for me to get too close to people. I like to maintain a comfortable distance usually (note - I am not saying it is right/wrong - it is just what I tend to do). However, I do prefer face to face contact, I think that is why I am not consistent with IM, twitter, blogging, etc. To me, there is a certain sense of understanding and comfort I get from seeing a person's eyes, face, and body gestures express whatever it is they are saying. I love the human interface - the characters and personalities. Quirks and mannerisms that you only really notice in person, really do it for me. My husband has fantastic flamboyant facial and hand gestures when he talks, that just does it for me. My sister is another person who is highly animated; it really tickles me to watch her & hear her explain things or tell stories. So help me, is my worry unfounded, or does anyone elso worry about technology or has anyone noticed how it has changed the way we interact? or how it has effected our ablility to manage face-face situations/relations?

2 Perspectives:

Yea, I'm going to have to go ahead and disagree with you (well, the article) on this.

First, the article makes a claim -


This loss of mental creativity, as well as physical exercise, has resulted in a host of children who are neurologically and developmentally delayed, with a variety of mental disorders and attachment difficulties.


There is no proof that technology is the cause of a lack of mental creativity. If there is, they did not show it. Also, what if the developmentally delayed individuals were all around just never addressed simply because the medical field didn't know what the disorder was?

Second -


A 2004 Kaiser Foundation study showed that elementary aged children use on average 6.5 hours per day of TV and videogames, and over half of North American bedrooms contain TV’s.


That doesn't mean the family is falling apart. That doesn't mean any mental illness is caused by TV in the bedroom. All this article has done is gone to show that kids watch 6.5 hours of TV.

Third -


TV and videogame addiction is causing an irreversible worldwide epidemic of mental and physical health disorders, yet we all find excuses to continue.


Again, no proof. Making outlandish claims without anything to back it up. Furthermore, this is the kind of dangerous thinking that leads people to think "Oh, yea, that hard german techno and video games made Columbine happen.

No. It was parents not paying attention to the needs of their children, not being involved in their kids lives.


Studies have shown parents currently spend on average 3.5 minutes per week in meaningful conversation with children.


Do you see a theme here? This all comes off as someone trying to give their view as "official" but cannot support it.


What we do know is that TV and videogame use has causal links to increases in ADHD, learning disabilities, sexual promiscuity, addictions, aggression, obesity, and sleep disorders to name a few.


We do? Again, claims and no basis for the claims. What if we just started saying "Well, we all know that rain causes cancer, obesity, stupidity, male pattern baldness, individuals to buy new cars and SIDs"?

Just because I say it doesn't make it true.


It’s important to come together as parents, teachers and therapists to help society “wake up” and see the devastating effects technology is having not only on our child’s mental and physical health, but also on their ability to learn and sustain personal and family relationships.


Swing and a miss!

It's important for parents, teachers and therapists to help society “wake up” and see they poor parenting is involved and stop blaming others (or other things) for their failures.


You make some poignant counterpoints. You're right - Technology isn't the best parent / babysitter...nor should it ever be. No matter how much we want it to, technology simply does not adequately replace the human presence needed for the development of various normal relationship components. You've definitely got a good head on your shoulders :) and I love it! *kiss*


Post a Comment

Please feel free to give me your input! I like perspective.